Romance of Mystery

Directed by Douglas Hickox
Written by Anthony Greville-Bell
Starring Vincent Price, Diana Rigg, Ian Hendry, Milo O'Shea, Michael Hordern and Harry Andrews
"To slay or not to slay? That is the question!" Vincent Price, that immortal king of terror, delivers one of his finest performances in this dandy little film. It�s filled with as many laughs as it is with screams and it�s a jolly good time for everyone involved. You won�t want to be late for this performance. You better hurry to your seat now. People are simply dying to get in.
Edward Lionheart, a vigorous if somewhat hammy Shakespearean actor, confronts a group of pompous and cruel critics who have ridiculed him for years. Deprived of the theatrical award that was to be his after his flawless season of the Bard�s best work, the distressed Lionheart hurls himself over a railing to his watery death. Or so it would seem. Unfortunately for all the critics who penned their scathing reviews, Lionheart has returned with a bitter taste for vengeance. Seeking inspiration from the plays he so loves, Edward formulates a complex plan to murder all his critics using the gory deaths that highlighted Shakespeare�s famous tragedies�

Just from that plot alone you know that you�re in for a good time (this would be a great introduction to William Shakespeare for a high school English class!). All the killings are inventive and spirited, and they never shy away from the red stuff. Price delivers an awesome spear to the chest for one poor bloke and then has his corpse dragged along by the tail of a rollicking horse. And who can forget that rib-tickling moment when Edward and his accomplice are beheading a sedated chap in his bed to the sweet melody of beautiful orchestra music. Edward even rolls his eyes at his partner�s incompetence as blood spurts up in the air like a fountain. Pure ghoulish delight, ladies and gentlemen.

The film itself is very reminiscent of the Dr. Phibes movies, another vehicle that Price starred in as a cackling villain. Both they and Theatre of Blood have Price playing wronged men who seek to destroy a group of less-than-admirable individuals with unique methods (in the first Phibes movie it was death by the biblical Ten Plagues of Egypt). But this film can very well stand on its own, no doubt due to the beautiful artistry of Vincent Price. He can be force feeding a pie made out of poodle flesh to a squirming victim and make it look like an Academy Award winning performance. The man is simply game to do anything and his enthusiasm for the role shines in every scene. If for nothing else, watch this movie just for the scene of Vincent Price masquerading as a homosexual hair dresser, afro included. You�ll be thanking me for quite some time.

Only an actor like Price can transfer from a hilarious moment like this to a completely solemn, eerie scene where he cryptically delivers haunting lines of Shakespeare. His fiery passion permeates even the dank and rotting atmosphere that shadows the entire movie. Like Edward Lionheart, Price delivers an outstanding performance of a man who lives out every actor�s dream by distributing cold, poetic justice to those damn critics! Your eyes will be glued to the screen from the thrilling opening ala Julius Caesar to the somber, fiery climax. When the curtains close for the final act of this tragedy, don�t be surprised if you catch yourself shouting "Encore!"

Labels: 1970S, Revenge, Shakespeare, The Crypt, Theatre Of Blood, Vincent Price

Greeting, readers. Pull your overstuffed armchairs close to the glowing dial of the radio, because we have another terror tale from yesteryear to listen to in tonight's edition of "Horror On The Airwaves."
Our story is set in the sickly wet heat of French New Guinea, on a small rocky reef that bears the macabre name of Three Skeleton Key. Three men man the lighthouse that accommodates the reef, the heavenly lamp shining through the treacherous fog in order to guide all passing ships to safety. Our narrator is Jean, a complacent fellow who lets us in on all the proceedings. He is accompanied by Louis, a very Bluto-esque sailor who has just about as much patience as he has words. Auguste, on the other hand, is a chatty hunchback who is constantly sharing stories with his companions of the days when he acted on the stage at the Grand Guignol. All three of them share no close bonds, but they get along fine enough to get through the day.
But one day something happens that puts their very lives on the line. Spotting a vessel being tossed about by the tumultuous waves outside, Jean calls the other two over to observe the spectacle. It soon becomes apparent that the ship is a derelict, not a living soul to be seen on board. But as the ship washes up ever closer to the jagged rocks on the coast, Jean sees a horrifying sight through his binoculars. The ship is infested with rats, a special breed that has adapted to living on vessels. They are venomous, flesh-hungry vermin, the reason for the absence of any humans on board becoming cryptically clear. What's worst of all, the ship crashes against the shore, allowing the entire army of plague-carriers to swarm the lighthouse.
The three men work with all haste to ensure that every opening is sealed tight, running frantically up and down the spiral staircase as the rats ferociously tear at the doors and windows with a million pairs of yellow fangs and claws. Jean and his partners have now become prisoners in their own lighthouse, the animals outside a sure sign of impending death. As the rats press in on them inch by inch, the lighthouse keepers begin to lose their grip on sanity and slowly give in to the hungry maw of tangible fear...
"Three Skeleton Key" was adapted to radio from a story written by French writer George Toudouze which originally appeared in the magazine Esquire. The most famous broadcast of this harrowing story was the March 17, 1950 version that starred Vincent Price as Jean. "Three Skeleton Key" is one of the most famous broadcasts in all of old time radio history. Airing on the the spectacular series Escape!, it remains a fantastic example of the powers of auditory suggestion and suspense.
During the duration of the thrilling story, the listener becomes completely immersed in the time and setting (a facet that I always found Escape! to really excel in). You can feel the hot, humid air sticking to your skin and imagine yourself squinting through the thick fog that encloses you. Jean's narration of the lighthouse paints a clear image of its bony structure jutting up through the sharp rocks. And, perhaps best of all, the invasion of the rats becomes something as real as your own flesh and blood. The effects used to create the sounds of the vermin's advance are bone-chilling in their horror. Every squeak, scratch, and scuttle of the rats makes you feel as if there are critters running in the same room as you. It's hair-raising scares at their most effective, the swarming of the beasts the perfect apocalyptic symbol for this fight of man against Mother Nature's creations.
If you'd like to give this chiller a listen, curl up with some warm hot chocolate and tune in HERE. If you find yourself with a case of goosebumps before going to bed, don't worry your little head about the creepy crawlies in the dark. I'll keep a light burning for you.

Labels: 1950S, Escape, Horror On The Airwaves, Old Time Radio, Rats, Vincent Price