Romance of Mystery

Good late afternoon to you, deadly darlings...
I hope that all of you have been enjoying this fine Father's Day with laughs, family warmth, and plenty of alcoholic beverages (please drink responsibly). So I have come today to wish all you pops (and maybe pops-to-be) a great holiday weekend and plenty of cheesy neckties for you to hang yourselves with.
I'm actually quite surprised to see that I appear to be the first horror blogger (out of all the ones I'm following anyway) that has used this little segment from Creepshow as a makeshift greeting card for the holiday. This memorable story did for Father's Day what Halloween did for Halloween, what Black Christmas did for Christmas, and what Are We There Yet? did for thinking about having a family road trip ever again.
Ever.
Other than the holiday reference (which I realized just yesterday was a happy coincidence), my contribution to the Vault of Horror's and Brutal As Hell's summer feature The Lucky 13 was, you guessed it, Creepshow. The subgenre of this week's examination? Horror comedies! Some may not instantly connect Creepshow with horror comedy, but in my dark, twisted mind it stands as a milestone of that mini genre. Hell, if you were to catch me at the right moment, I'd tell you that Creepshow was my favorite horror movie of all time. Can you dig it?
You can check out the hilarity at the Vault HERE.
Don't be a Negative Nancy and forget to check out the tubular line up Brutal As Hell has prepared over THERE.
Oh and one more thing. For all of you who read my follow up post to the last installment of The Lucky 13 for Gore Week (which can be seen HERE) I proposed that whoever could guess what my pick for this week was would win a free pony for their efforts. As no one responded with any lucky guesses, it pleases me to inform you all that I was forced to shoot Chester and ship him to the factory to be made into glue. There. Live with that on your conscience.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Brutal As Hell, Creepshow, Holiday, The Lucky 13, Vault Of Horror

Do you like being happy? I know I do! If you don't like being happy, chances are you're a Communist. Or a chair.
I like seeing bloggers writing about what makes them happy. I enjoy it so much, I thought it was about time that I should give a go at it. So, for your hopeful enjoyment, those little things in life that continue and always will bring a smile to my face.

























And last but certainly not least...

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Happyness, Random

If any of you wanderers in darkness out there have noticed that things and stuff have been down to a minimum here at From Beyond Depraved, you're not crazy. All three of you readers may be somewhat saddened to hear that updates will be a bit scarce within the ensuing month or so. Real Life has decided to rear its slavering jaws at me and I unfortunately have to answer its mad moon-howl. But try not to despair too much... I've just installed new carpeting and your tears of blood will just ruin all my hard work. There are, however, some bright and shiny things in the near- and soon-to-be-future that might excite you in your pants...
For starters, although new material might be seen as much as a potion-crazy Claude Rains in these parts, you can always count on my monthly contributions at The Terror Trap and Classic-Horror for my features Chiller of the Month and Cold Reads respectively. I have some neat plans for October, with lumbering sleepwalkers and New England phantoms on my menu for the month.
I have just recently received my very own video editing software and I'm excited as all hell to start using it. I'll be experimenting with making montages and videos, and you can bet your banshee that they'll be horror homages a-plenty in the works that'll be posted here.
In early October, I'll be headed to the funtastical land of Orlando, Florida to attend the Screamfest convention. It will be my first journey ever to a horror convention (gasps of shock and repulsion). I'll be sure to post the details and photos of my adventures in the weeks afterward.
According to Brian at the tremendous blog The Vault Of Horror, The Lucky 13 will be officially resurrected from its freshly dug grave for a stunning return. This time the focus at his digs and Brutal As Hell will be horror films with seasonal and holiday twists. The event will be starting roughly around October and be going on all the way till about New Year's. I hope to contribute pieces to this marathon again and highly encourage all you out there to join in on the fun!
I'll be continuing to have regular Demented Dialogues with all the horror-obsessed bloggers the interwebs have to offer. Keep your eyes peeled for all future installments. And for those of you who still have yet to receive your questions, don't think I forgot about you! I'm just meticulously planning to unleash my ultimate wrath upon you. Yes... oh so slowly. *Strokes cat conveniently placed in lap*
To make up for the psychologically damaging absences that might occur here at FBD, I'll be posting more news about any future writing endeavors that come my way and be putting up some old fiction that everyone is invited to throw rotten produce at.
Oh yeah, and be sure to expect a healthy addition of posts from The Video Vault and Trailer Terror Tuesdays. And a lot of random videos that I may find along the way in my journey to discover the true meaning of life.This seems like a good start...

Labels: Bloggin Madness, News, Random

Eddie leered at the immaculately dressed man standing on his front porch. The chump was in an ironed, three piece blue suit, and when he smiled Eddie wanted to knock the planks from his white picket fence grin.
"Howdy, sir. Jack Lamort's the name, selling�s the game." The yuck-head extended a hand as he laughed at his own joke.
"I�m not interested in anything�"
"Hold on there, partner. I haven�t even gotten a chance to show you the merchandise."
The salesman snatched up his briefcase and had it snapped open in the blink of an eye. Pictures and graphs displaying coffins, corpses, and funeral lots on discount came pouring out like a waterfall of morbidity.
"What the hell?"
"Impressive, ain�t it? You seem like an alright guy. So I�m gonna give you the best deal on the market."
When the jerk laughed, Eddie winced at the smell of formaldehyde and graveyard earth.
"What in God�s name are you selling?"
"Why death, my good man! It�s the hottest commodity these days."

"Death?"
"Let me explain. I�m not here by accident. You were on my list, see? But we do things differently nowadays. We let the customers have a little more freedom with their choices of, uh� departure."
"Look, buddy. I ain�t got no time for these jokes. The game�s on, for Pete�s sake."
"I�ll try not to waste any more of your time than I need to, Ed."
"How�d you�"
"Now we have a lovely array of terminations for you to consider here. We have the basic death from heart attack, which is standard for the middle aged man such as yourself. But you seem a little adventurous. How does bear mauling sound to you? No, you�re right. Far too messy. How about perishing while saving a child from a burning building? Gives you the nice heroic look, if you ask me. Pull in some more people at the funeral that way. Or if the goody-two-shoes approach isn�t your thing, we can always arrange to have you murder your wife and then fry in the electric chair at the state penitentiary. From what I hear, the ladies seem to love that bad boy personality. But then again, so do the guys at the state penitentiary. Let�s drop that one for now. We really should discuss your funeral service�"
Eddie was gaping at the peculiar little man on his porch. His meaty fists shook with rage.
"Get out," he hissed.
"How do you fancy yourself in this model coffin?"
"I said�" Eddie reached forward and gripped the man by his coat. His body promptly went stiff and he collapsed through the open door onto his back.
The salesman peered down at the dead man, a frown painting his features. Marking Eddie�s name from the list, he let out a sigh as he headed back to his car. The salesman tossed the briefcase into the trunk of the car next to the scythe and swung into the driver�s seat. As he drove away, he checked the time on his wristwatch.
"Still morning. Boy, am I gonna make a killing!"

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Humor, Original Work, Random, Short Fiction

That's right. The law has finally caught up with me. Those dusty desperadoes from Planet Of Terror have captured me and brought me in for hard questioning and a rousing session of police brutality, all set to the soothing tones of Barry Manilow's latest album.
It's all part of this bizarre program they have called "Meet the Horror Bloggers." In it, computer geeks obsessed with monster movies and creepy things in general are forced to expose themselves in the most dehumanizing way possible... by explaining their love for the horror genre and the hows and wherefores of their blogs!
*Dramatic scream!*

But seriously, I'd really appreciate it if y'all went on OVER HERE and gave the place a gander. I'd be mighty grateful and itchin' like a hound dog to repay you in any way. Please and thank you!

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Meet The Horror Bloggers, Planet Of Terror

Can you feel it? Tingling in your brain? Rumbling in your bowels? Making you feel uncomfortable in regions of your body that we can't disclose to our PG-13 audience?
It's the dark, shambling approach of Demented Dialogues! No, say it isn't so! Anything but that! The horror! The humanity! It's a fate worse than death. For the love of Cheez Whiz tell me that it hasn't come to this...
Wait, what are Demented Dialogues? Well I'm glad I asked myself that question. Demented Dialogues is a new feature that will be premiering soon at From Beyond Depraved. As the name would suggest, it is a correspondence between myself and other horror fans in the format of an interview where we talk about their love for the genre and other deep and not-so-deep stuff. The area of coverage is broad: film, television, literature, monsters, comic books, Halloween, and anything else you can think of.

I'd like to get as many bloggers as I could to join in on this. The opportunity is open to ANYBODY, no matter how long they've had a horror site in the blogsophere. We can discuss serious issues and topics within the horror genre or just act like complete lunatics. And it isn't restricted to just bloggers; web site owners, writers, musicians, and pretty much anyone with an opinion may participate if they so wish.
If anyone is interested in being interviewed and having their site profiled, be sure to email me at joemonster25 [at] yahoo [dot] com. I already have two interviews lined up with some nefarious characters, the first of which is due to be posted either late this month or early July. Keep your bloodshot eyes peeled for the chaotic introduction of Demented Dialogues! I hope to hear from all you horror fanatics in the future!
If this post didn't stimulate you enough, here's a video of a guy screaming at his cats.

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Cats, Demented Dialogues, Horror Blogs, Notice

Step right up, folks, step right up! Here we have a horror website that is guaranteed to send your flesh a-tremblin' and your bones a-groanin' or your money back! The Blood Theatre, having once prospered as a resource for horror cinema with countless reviews and articles, unfortunately languished after having several technological issues a few years ago. Its premature death took with it the dozens and dozens of horror film reviews that it had grown on from the hard work of its deadicated writers.
But hope soon sprung eternal! Just this past March The Blood Theatre tore itself from the grave with a vengeance, a thirst for all things creepy managing to resurrect it once more. Now its stage is dusty and bare, the moth-eaten curtains bristling with the breeze of ghosts long dormant. And now it hungers for nothing more than the blood of innocents and a fresh batch of talented, eager, and determined writers to fill its gory resume to the brim with top-notch horror film reviews and insights.
If you are interested in writing for this awesome site, follow the link and take a look around the place. More information on submissions and sending querys to theatre proprietor Matthew T. can be discovered in the site's yellowing pages. The Blood Theatre has the potential to become something great again but it needs YOUR help to do so! Please lend a helping hand if you can spare one. Do what any good-natured zombie would do!
THE BLOOD THEATRE LIVES!

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Blood Theatre, Website

Hello my ghoulish gawkers,
For those of you who haven't seen already, I was given the pretty spiffy opportunity to contribute a piece to "The Lucky 13," a summer-long feature hosted by the fantastic Vault of Horror and Brutal As Hell. This past Saturday's feature was on Creature Features and Monster Movies. I decided to do a write-up on that beloved ape of my childhood, King Kong.
Be sure to see the depravity by going HERE.
Schedule and Satan willing, I'll be writing on other horror favorites in the ensuing weeks. Speaking of the Almighty Dark Lord, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for this Saturday's feature when the crew from VOH and Brutal As Hell take on horror films dealing with Witches, Demons, and Ol' Lucifer himself.
It's sure to be one helluva time.

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Brutal As Hell, King Kong, Monster, The Lucky 13, Vault Of Horror

I'm overstuffed with Halloween joy today. After seeing various houses in my town adorned with all the holiday trappings (including pumpkins, cobwebs, scarecrows, and even an awesome giant rubber bat that was suspended on a wire) and anticipating the chance to finally watch and appreciate that Samhain classic known as It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (yes I still haven't seen it, move on), I'm just about to burst like a pillow case full of sticky sweets. So in an attempt to share that love I decided to make a list. Because what else says love like a list?
A few of my blogging comrades have also been in the midst of concocting their own lists for the spooky season, all of them centering on their own collection of top drawer horror films. Submitted for your approval is my top twenty picks in the horror genre. You can use this as a list of suggestions for your own Halloween viewing or just read it for the fun of delving into the soft spots of my grey matter. There are many horrors that you'll encounter along the way and I hope to see you all in one piece at the end. Laugh, cry, scream, and "Rerrin'!" at my selections as you see fit. Some of them may be shocking. Others might be puzzling. But all of them are DIABOLICAL! Muahahahaha!

AFTERMATH (1994)
So let's start things off with the absolute WORST choice of a film to begin my list! It is true that Nacho Cerda's short film is filled with shocking, repulsive, and offensive images, the least of which is a man oiling up for a little intimate time with a cadaver. But strike me down, I can't help but be completely drawn by this little piece of celluloid nastiness. The production value for the film is astounding; the crispness of the images and sound really need to be experienced first hand. But on a deeper level I think it's the way in which the events are shot (the frankness, the clinical detachment) that makes Aftermath an utterly enticing study in depravity. Either that or you can just write me off to the head shrinker's office.

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)
John Landis' venture into horror is beloved by many genre fans, myself included. Those who have read this blog in the past know of my rabid obsession with werewolves, so the inclusion of this classic should come as no surprise. This is one of those movies where the filmmaker's appreciation and love for horror just radiates and warms all who watch it. There's a cozy feeling that comes with watching AWIL, despite multiple scenes of wolf mauling and skin shredding. As amazing as this entire movie is, it probably would've made the list if the only redeeming part of it was the mind blowing transformation scene courtesy of Rick Baker's astounding effects.

THE BEYOND (1981)
Italian horror isn't everyone's cup of tana tea, and even those who are unabashed fans of spaghetti cinema would admit that it's not coherent plots or complex characters that keep them glued to the screen. But what does keep us horror fanatics coming back for more is the powerful atmosphere that permeates the films' darker scenes and, if we're lucky, the excessive gore that paints the screen like a serial killer's palette. Hardly anyone pulls this off better than Lucio Fulci and his bloodsoaked camera is at one of its best in The Beyond. A cursed hotel over a door into hell, rotting zombies galore, eye gougings, carnivorous tarantulas, and a cute little girl getting her face fucking pulverized by a close-range bullet. What's NOT to love?

BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
Christmas chillers are common fare in the horror genre, but it's an occasion that comes once every blue moon where one of them is actually worth your while. Black Christmas is definitely worth your time and you'll probably think about canceling your Yuletide party after you watch this early slasher prototype. It's a simple scenario: a group of college girls alone in a sorority house one wintry Christmas Eve and a homicidal maniac locked inside with them. But director Bob Clark creates a truly terrifying and claustrophobic atmosphere, tinged with all the warmness of the holiday season. I still can't help but imagine a bloodshot eye peering at me from the crack of a door every time I pass by a bedroom. "Agnes... it's me, Billy."

BLACK SABBATH (1963)
Master of color tones and suspense, Italian auteur Mario Bava creates one of the absolute best horror anthologies that has ever been my pleasure to witness. While the first segment is somewhat passable, it's the unforgettable stories with Boris Karloff as "The Wurdulak" and the smiling corpse from "A Drop Of Water" that will haunt your dreams for years to come. And as horrifying as bloodthirsty vampires and vengeful spirits are, Bava somehow manages to make every single frame look like a lush, beautiful piece of art. Truly one of the most visually stunning horror films ever made.

THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI (1920)
Ever wonder what the world looks like to a maniac? Well now you don't have to. Another example of a breathtakingly artistic horror film, The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari has done as much for the entire cinematic medium as a whole as it has for horror. The film is in many ways similar to the carnival that serves as the centerpiece of the story: a whirling, dizzying miasma of contorted shapes and twisting shadows. Plus, there's an evil doctor who uses a hypnotized, sleepwalking slave to murder those who stand in his way. How badass is that?

CREEPSHOW (1982)
Any poor soul who has had the misfortune of being around me for the past seven years knows of my undying love for Creepshow by now. Many times when I'm asked the question that is the bane of all fright fans ("What's your FAVORITE horror movie?!"), Creepshow always serves as my jerk reflex response. It has deep roots in the formative years of my fandom, which is one reason why it holds a special place in my dark heart. And I just love the overall frightfully-fun feel that the movie inspires in me everytime I watch it. Whether a slimy corpse is stalking down victims or a ravenous Antarctic-based creature is munching on screaming faces, I can't help but smile throughout the entire film.

DEEP RED (1975)
That other Italian guy claims one of the top spots in my countdown here. The majority of fans seem to side with Dario Argento's supernatural masterpiece Suspiria, and it's with good reason. But I've always held a preference for Argento's most well-known giallo Deep Red (which ironically is really different from your typical giallo). Ever since I viewed the trailer as a lad I became enchanted with knowing the twisted story behind the images. I'm a sucker for a good murder mystery, and Argento delivers all the goods to be expected along with a few dark touches of his own, all set against beautiful hues of crimson and ebony. This is the one movie that made me want to be a black gloved killer just so I could murder people to a snazzy score and look fashionable while doing so.

THE EVIL DEAD (1981)
I watched The Evil Dead for the very first time for a science experiment that I was doing back in middle school on the effect of horror films on heart and pulse rate. The other two films chosen for the night were Sleepaway Camp and The Howling. Saving The Evil Dead for last, I was easily scared the most watching that film than I had been for the first two. This was another film whose trailer I had obsessively watched before seeing the actual thing. I was taken back to say the least. The demonic howls in the woods and the vaginal rape by way of horny trees were just a few of the atrocities that would traumatize my eyes that night. And we hadn't even gotten to the bloody hacking of the possessed corpses! This one has always stayed with me since that memorable night.

FRIGHT NIGHT (1985)
I saw Fright Night on a double bill with Creepshow at my uncle's house, so that should give you an idea about what a fanatic I am for this movie as well. Easily one of the most watched flicks in the Cruz household, I was able to recite just about every line by the time I was in fifth grade. A monster living next door was not only an original idea to my impressionable mind at the time, but it was something that every kid gets scared about at least once during childhood! Chris Sarandon was the epitome of devilishly charming and Roddy McDowell was the vampire hunting grandpa that I always wanted. And though some people may loathe him as much as Jar Jar Binks, I can't help but adore Evil Ed. "You're so cool, Brewster!"

HALLOWEEN (1978)
John Carpenter's flick makes just about everyone's list, so who am I to go against the vast majority? It's not just blind faithfulness that prompts me though. Halloween is every ounce of classic that everyone says it is. From the killer point-of-view beginning to the skin-crawling climax that has Michael Myers doggedly chasing down a terrified Jamie Lee Curtis, Halloween is the golden standard by which all slashers should follow. Add an unforgettable minimalist score and a genuine small-town-at-autumn-time vibe and you have instant terror greatness. And Donald Pleasance is a boss.

THE NINTH GATE (1999)
The return to the occult film for one Roman Polanski was not exactly met with open arms by everyone upon its initial release, but seeing the film a few years later made me an instant fan of it. I've always preferred quiet, subtle horrors over straight-out gorefests (although those can be fun too). The Ninth Gate is a call back to those wonderfully shadowy films that Val Lewton produced at RKO back in the 40's. Through dark alleyways and beautiful countrysides alike we feel an unseen presence of evil everywhere Johnny Depp goes. And being a dirty bibliophile, The Ninth Gate serves a role as my book porno. Watching dusty, yellowing pages being rifled through and examined just gets me going.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1925)
Although it was actually the 1943 version of the classic tale starring Claude Raines that technically introduced me to the horror genre, I've actually come to choose Lon Chaney's immortal rendition as the ultimate adaptation of Gaston Leroux's novel. Chaney is at his top game here, devising his most unforgettable makeup design ever in a portrayal that is more frightening rather than sympathetic (as many interpretations of the Opera Ghost are). But Chaney is truly a spectacle here, stealing the show in every guise he appears in, especially his dramatic entrance at the masquerade as the insidiously striking Red Death. Amazing sets and costumes abound in this production that is epic in every sense of the word.

PSYCHO (1960)
What I would have done to know the genius that was Alfred Hitchcock. His films have provided me with countless entertaining nights over the years and I have dearly loved every single one of them. But Psycho just has that little bit of an edge over the others, a pinch more of fairy dust that turns it into something magical that causes me to become spellbound everytime I watch it. There's a grittiness and a darkness here not present in Hitch's other films, making it one of, if not his only true horror film. Anthony Perkins mesmerizes with his doubled performance as both criminal and victim, making it one of the most enduring cinematic portrayals ever. Ahhh, and those violins!

SAW (2004)
In some ways I'm almost embarrassed to put this on my list. But I think that has to do more with what the series has become over time (a joke) than what the intention of the original was. I watched the first Saw right when it became available to rent, and was really astounded by what I'd seen. I held a rather low opinion of contemporary horror (even at 13) and was fairly unimpressed by the majority of movies that I'd watched from post-1990. I felt that Saw was an ingenious mystery, akin to the Italian gialli but updated for a more urban, edgier crowd. The premise was original at one point in time, believe it or not, and that ending packed a helluva punch for me. It's unfortunate that the sequels haven't held up to the original, but I stand by my word that Saw is one of the best horror films to come out of the past decade.

THE SHINING (1980)
Heeeere's another cliche choice! Say what you will about the film's unfaithfulness to Stephen King's source material, it can't be denied that The Shining has a raw power working behind it that sucks you in upon every viewing. Stanley Kubrick's infamous precision and perfection can even be felt when simply watching the movie, but it never feels rigid or dull at any point in time. This is a movie where the silence is just as important as the things you hear. The quiet holds all the scares and thrills. Those little moments where Kubrick draws your face closer and closer to the screen in eager anticipation of what's to be said next and then BAM you're hit with naked old lady skin. A wonderfully complex and strange ghost film that's always revealing more secrets upon every viewing.

THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974)
All the reasons behind why I think TCSM is so utterly amazing can be found HERE. Oh yeah, and Grandpa.

TRICK 'R TREAT (2009)
This is the movie that I became acquainted with most recently (last Halloween as a matter of fact), and now a year later I'm still in love with Trick 'R Treat. Talk about an undying love for the holiday and horror cinema, Michael Dougherty's ode to autumn is so lavish and warm-hearted in its appreciation that you can't help but feel like a kid trying your costume out for the first time while watching this one. The set design of the small town filled with its glowing pumpkins and misty forests is enough to make a Halloween fanatic's heart burst with joy. With a mascot as adorable as Sam to guide us through a collection of scary stories, this is sure to become a holiday classic in years to come. Bust out the candy corn and blow out the candles for this one.

THE WOLF MAN (1941)
My love for lycanthropes knows no bounds. The Wolf Man was the first one to show me the light (of the full moon) and from then on I haven't turned back. Chaney proves to be a true descendant of his father as he plays the ever-sympathetic Larry Talbot. Like Chaney Sr.'s Erik, Talbot becomes the subject of all our attention and affections. Seeing this guy transform into a full-fledged bipedal wolf with the help of Jack Pierce's makeup was an experience that hasn't lost one bit of its magic over the years. Curt Siodmak's literate script creates an imaginative mythos to be followed by countless films to come. The beautiful black and white photography, especially seen in the foggy moors, is nothing short of mesmerizing. The... oy, I better stop before it's too late.

ZOMBIE (1979)
What do ya know? That old devil Fulci has robbed two places in my top twenty! And here I was thinking that I wasn't that much of a fan of his. Shows what I know about myself... When it comes to the living dead, it's not Romero that has devoured my brain with his definitive series. Fulci solidifies my devotion with this intense, messy thrill ride that creates new definitions for the word "awesome" in the dictionary. Where else would you see a cadaver wrestle underwater with a hungry shark? Where else would you witness the excruciating gouging of an eye by way of freaking huge door splinter? Where, I ask you, would a 400-year-old conquistador rise from his sandy grave to rip the throat out of anyone unlucky enough to be standing by him with his extreme case of snaggletooth? Only in Italy! Viva la Fulci!

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Halloween, List, The Crypt, Top Twenty

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.
As I was saying before the sentient pun portion of my brain took over, the Vault of Horror and Brutal As Hell have brought the fourth in their line of weekly summer features concerning favorites of the horror genre. This time it's the best of the most gruesome, the most vile, and the most-likely-to-induce-eye-explosions horror that filmmakers have tainted the screen with. That's right, it is indeed GORE WEEK!
Believe it or not, it was actually a bit tougher for me to pick a selection than it has been so far. I was originally torn between doing The New York Ripper or The Evil Dead. The former fell through after I rewatched it and realized that, as fun and spirited as some of the murder sequences were, I just couldn't bring myself to say that it was a favorite. I had to nix Sam Raimi's demon/zombie opus because, being a purist of sorts when it comes to some things, I wanted to choose a film that was strictly about the carnage and that couldn't really be cateGORized (dammit!) in any other sub-genre. So what did I decide to do?

Why steal from my own blog of course! Not really. I didn't want to choose Aftermath at first. Why? Because I hated the idea of falling back on a piece that I just reviewed a short time ago. It made me feel as if I was being unoriginal and lazy, that I didn't genuinely hail the film as one of my personal favorites. But after I took a step back and thought about it, I realized that I really did love this movie. So, with every ounce of creativeness that I could squeeze from my corpse-dry brain, I wrote a piece on it without (hopefully) regurgitating too many elements from my full review of the film.
Check it and all the other fantastic, bloodsoaked contributions out for yourself at The Vault Of Horror.
If your stomach allows it, you can take a gander at the review I did OVER HERE as well.
And I'd pity the fool who didn't get their sorry behinds over to Brutal As Hell and see what their more-than-amazing staff has cooked up this time. Mmmhmm.
Be sure to keep your eyes posted for next week's feature for The Lucky 13... Horror Comedies! We'll be tickling ribs and devouring the flesh from them at the same time. A free pony to whoever guesses what my pick shall be!

Labels: Aftermath, Bloggin Madness, Brutal As Hell, Gore, The Lucky 13, Vault Of Horror

For those of you who haven't already done so, perhaps you should mosey on over to Classic-Horror to read some of the write-ups I've done for them. I have a weekly feature (soon to be monthly starting in October) called Cold Reads where I read, examine, and review horror in literature. This week's post was for Clive Barker's novella "The Hellbound Heart," the inspiration for his famous Hellraiser series. I have film reviews that pop up there every so often as well, so be sure to give those a peek when they come around.
Is all this simply just a cheap, vulgar ploy to distract all my readers while I sit at home, too lazy to write anything original for this blog? Of course it is! Would you expect anything less degenerate?
But in order to keep you from grabbing the torches and pitchforks too soon, I'll strain my mental resources and try to put some effort into this post.
Nick Hishmeh, that cool cat who's submitted some reviews for this blog, has recently embarked on a noble adventure into the land of comedy. He and his group of fellow writers/actors have a formed an allegiance called WeAreCMen. They have an ongoing series called "Charlie and His Imaginary Friend." And no, it has nothing to do with Charlie the Unicorn! I promise, Scout's honor. The prologue and first episode have been posted here for your bemusement. Enjoy!

The credits for the first episode are:
Director/Writer- Nick Hishmeh
Actor/Editor- Christopher Conkling
Actor/DP- Charlie Islas III
Audio- Christian Kady

This is a stand alone video they created concerning life in Orlando. It doesn't get any cooler than this!

WeAreCMen consists of the following lunatics:
Christopher Conkling
Charlie Islas III
Nick Hishmeh
Marcus Griggs
This group has a lot of potential and, as they are all huge film buffs, they get 100% of my support. Be sure to keep your eyes open for any future installments here or on Youtube.
And thus ends this totally entertaining diversion. Let's drink!

Labels: Bloggin Madness, Classic-Horror, Cold Reads, Humor, Wearecmen